Dear Jennifer: My son is making such bad choices right now and I don’t know how to help him. He lost his job so I let him move in with me and pay his bills. Now he is depressed and does nothing but sit around the house. He has a girlfriend who doesn’t treat him well and he is upset about that all of the time. He has very little contact with his father and I feel bad about that too. I’ve been trying to help him but I really can’t afford to give him any more money and I don’t want him to live here forever? How can I help him turn his life around?
Jennifer’s Answer: One of the hardest things we have to face as parents of the Indigo generation is that our children are not like we were at their age. They don’t get jobs, marry and have children at age 21. Some of them take years to find their niche in life and depression is an ever present problem for them. We have tried to not pressure them into growing up and wonder whether that contributes to their inability to settle down and start living their life. While you are not responsible for any of this, there is a lot of karma and karmic healing happening for everyone.
While you think this is one issue, it is actually several. First, there’s your soul contract with your son in which you promise to guide and support him so he can thrive in this lifetime. Then there is the karma you share which compels you to make sure he uses these opportunities to his best advantage. There is also the karma he has with his father that you are not part of, as well as his own karmic path in which he needs to learn to turn problems into opportunities for healing and transformation. It’s tough to see our children dealing with karma but they have their own karma with us and with others.
You cannot help your son make better choices, turn his life around or do anything that compels him to act differently than what he is doing now. You are in his life to help him know that there are other options but you can’t make him do anything. The most powerful thing you can do for him is to stop holding energy for his victim status because that’s what you are doing. One of your fears, because of your karma with him, is that the is going to die and you want to prevent that from happening. But if that is the path he chooses, it will happen in spite of your best efforts.
Instead, see his life as the reality he has created for himself and help him envision different solutions. Start the conversation about jobs by asking what he is interested in and encouraging him to pursue that. Let him deal with the girlfriend, they have their own karma together, Same thing goes for the father, that is a karmic issue between them and he needs to succeed in spite of his father’s lack of support. These are all his life lessons that he needs to learn and integrate so he sees himself in a more powerful way, and not as a victim.
And release your burden of responsibility because other than agreeing to be his mother and part of his life journey, you have no direct impact on the outcome. You are working out your karma with him too so examine your fears and forgive yourself for what has transpired between you in the past. What you can do to give him some extra incentive is to see him as powerful, happy, fulfilled and successful in his life. That sends the ‘I know you can do this’ message instead of the ‘I hope you don’t fail’, which he feels and only makes him feel worse about the situation.
This generation has much to do and they are part of our overall karmic healing, which is an essential component of our ascension path. Keep in mind that he is helping you heal your karma too and you will see the situation different and hopefully, feel better about it.
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