I think, pretty much since the day I was born, my life has been very much like a white water river ride with occasional rests spots along the way. It has taken me a long time to be able to maneuver the rapids proficiently, and there is no doubt had I not had my spiritual awakening 12 years ago, I would be trashing beneath these intensifying currents.
When one learns to master the river, it becomes easy to flow with its intensity. When the pure flow of the heart stream matches the white water rapids and becomes the very raft you cruise the river upon. Unless the head gets in the way… then you are assured of many bumps and turn overs along the currents of the flowing river of life. Been there, done that, way too often!!
I am actually so surprised at how many messages I received in relation to my hearts choice of going back to Virginia to move thru this changing time in my sons world. How many people say he is an adult, let him fend for himself, grow where you are at since you have found heaven.
It really would have been safer and probably much easier for us as pure spirits to watch the game evolve on earth without ever having to take on a physical body. But we choose to be braver than that, and took on a body. Then we have the choice to continue to watch the game from the sidelines without ever taking many big risks in life, because it too, is safe.
True growth exists on the outer edge of your comfort zone. I have set up my life there as well. Once you get past the fear of constant change, the game and the ride become exhilarating and our personal growth assured.
I have been saying (as many of us have) I feel like my life is going to be changing soon, what I do will be changing. When the door of opportunity to assure change swings open, I can’t look in it and say, well that’s not the change I want. I will run thru it (after I have my own personal meltdown, which I am equally getting efficient at.) Three days tops to go from melt down to clarity! We can call that suiting up.
Before my heart burst open wide with “right choice” I spent the day prior reflecting on my new choice ahead and my own resistance to the choice. It would be sooooooo easy to stay on the Mesa and sparkle every single day. bask in the sunshine of the Guardians Love, and the safety net that is here. I can choose to settle here and grow slowly over time. Or jump with two feet deep into the sudden change in the game for rapid growth, together with my children.
It would also be easy, and even justifiable (to my mind) to say look at the history that has happened and how it appeared to end poorly last year. Personally I think it all ended extraordinary, it all got me to here.
When I moved back to Virginia last year and got a smell of the life that was now (then) my son’s life I knew I could not set up my life in that cesspool. But had I not taken the leap of faith to leave my home in New Mexico to see that up close and personal, I surely would not fully understand this phase of the game and how incredibly important it is to not only my son and grandsons life, but to all life in general.
Remember February of this year? The fires that burned all the shit away from our lives that was no longer conducive to our life’s journey? This was the exact month his baby’s mama picked up and left his life. The greatest, most challenging gift of the heavens to him.
His life was/is stripped bare. Even his own actions made sure this stripping wasn’t superficial but life changing. The courts on April 23rd said to him, in their own way: What do you really want in life, and what are you willing to do to attain it. (Would YOU be willing to turn your life upside down??) That same sentiment was echoed to his sister who lives with him, and his mama who lives across the country. And in truth, to each and every single one of us in this moment in time!!
The house in which he lives is no longer filled with really dense energy at all. That has been removed. If nothing else, it is void of energy. The garden has been tilled. How it gets planted in this phase of life… crucial.
For me, this is going to be the greatest “on the job training” of my life.
We seek to create a landscape, a community to reflect the pure energies of Shambhala. Pure heart centered living and building heaven on earth. But who the hell knows how to do that? Granted there are many intentional communities out there, most, if not all, created with the founder(s) intentions. Rules. Conditions. Expectations.
I am not that kind of mother to my children, at least not for the last decade. I am not that kind of person, period.
There is a major ingredient that is needed to truly start to bring the energy of Shambhala together into manifested form and that is Love. Couple that love energy with gratitude energy, nothing is impossible.
When I arrived back in Virginia last week, my youngest daughter was mad at me. She is going thru her own emotional upheaval within and targeted her anger at me. I love her enough to let her do that, it was needed for her growth. She had stopped talking to me about a month ago. But she also lives with my son, game on! She spent several days doing all she could to avoid my love, but I would wrap my arms around her when she walked past, kissed her when she wasn’t expecting it. Never, not once, asking her to return the love. That would be loving with conditions.
The night before our life changing court date, all three of us watched the wonderful documentary “I Am” by Tom Shadyac. This is the first time in my daughters young life (she is 21) she actually endured watching something spiritual… and stayed engaged thru the entire movie. Something changed.
She also choose to go back to the spiritual community we lived in when she was 15. She was flying out the day after court. Something really big is changing inside of her.
I took her to the airport for her flight to the community, she hugged me, really, for the first time in her adult life. We can hug people superficially… courtesy for what is happening in the moment, or we can really open our hearts and be present in that hug. She was present and oozing a love to me I had not felt from her in a very very long time. Something broke open in her I could feel it from her head to toe! And a doorway swings open…
For us humans, it could be such an easy thing to miss… this incredible opportunity in each others lives. We can get so caught up in justifying why we are where we are and how we must stay in that place until everything appears perfect for our next move… and we miss doorways or walk thru really challenging ones because it “looked” right.
I am going to learn, thru the greatest trial and error of creation and with the greatest teachers of my entire life, my children… what harnessing and using pure heart synergy really means. Their’s is an environment stripped energetically clean and is ripe for new growth. I am not only their mother, but equally their spiritual adviser (tho none will admit to that last one lol, but I see it.)
It would be soooooo easy to say to my son “you made this bed, now sleep in it.” That is not who I am. If it was, then don’t ever listen to a word that comes thru me because I am just parroting niceties and concepts and not being the living example of what I share means.
Whenever I come down to a life changing choice in my life, I demand from the universe validation. Granted, I do trust the flow of energy (not intermingled with my ego) that flows from my heart center, and that always happens the moment I awake from sleep. The day I wrote my last post about the rollercoaster of change… my heart was oozing the energy as it gets ready to connect to the white water rapids!!
The first validation I received was on my plane ride back to Albuquerque. When I got off my final flight and was walking towards the outside of the airport, I reached into my back pocket to call for a shuttle to return me to my car. I was stunned when my credit card sized wallet was not in my back pocket. I had already walked thru the security point where I could no longer go back to look to see if it had fallen out of my pocket when I walked.
Validation #1: No turning back and looking what got you to here.
It is too easy for us to look at what got us to hear and say… not again!! And we stop right before the greatest growth of our lives. I went to the lost and found and they sent a man to go check the floor, nothing.
Validation #2: No one else can see where you came from or where you are going.
My mind is now thinking of calling my bank, my bank cards, my drivers license, my voters registration is in that little wallet. Everything that says I am me… my identity did not come back with me!
I found a United Airlines worker and told her of my dilemma, she shrugged. And then it hit me. Can you have someone look on the seat where I was sitting. My seat was 29C. When I first noticed that seat number I thought of my youngest daughter… she was born on 9/29/9 at 9pm. Strange the things a number can trigger in us. Well 29 is an 11 vibration. It is also housing the energy of duality (2) and completion (9) in the spiritual illumination message of the 11. C equals 3 in our numerology, action and communication!! Even putting that all together 2+9+3= 14 which is 5… change!! But lets not discount the 1 (new beginnings) and the 4 (a cycle of completion on earth.)
Sure enough if my little wallet wasn’t sitting there on my seat. I had to ponder that for a long minute… how on earth did it get out of my pocket? I didn’t go into my pocket at all while on the airplane, god knows there is no room to move your ass in the seats… but yet, my identity did not leave the seat I was sitting in.
Validation #3: Your identity is not in New Mexico.
Coming home was bitter-sweet. I truly love my home on the Mesa. I love its look, it feel, its presence. When I walked thru my door just before midnight, it was like I walked into the movie Amityville Horror. There were at least 15-20 moths heading for the light I just turned on… when I went into my bathroom it was alive! Bugs creeping and flying all over. What the hell??
I have one window in my home where the screen is busted out, the only window in my house that was open, was that flipping window. I was pissed.
Of course, once I got over just being pissed that someone left THAT window open, I thought about the moth itself. It is a representation of transformation, but equally, it is a nighttime critter. It loves the dark and yet, is so attracted to the light that it often goes to the light at the shear risk of being burned by it.
How many of us would take such a risk in our own lives? We humans love our safety nets.
Validation #4: Massive Moth invasion: Transform what appears to be dark, even at the risk of getting burned.
These next two… huge and just so freakin weird.
I left the key to the mailbox on my kitchen table for my landlady when she returned from her trip to California. It disappeared. There is no way it could have left the table. There was only a cat here and a the cats own that came to check on him every night. But yet, when I returned, the key was gone.
Of course, it reminded me of my sons remote control The last night I slept at my son’s house I had fallen asleep with the remote to the TV in my hand. When I woke up and went to turn the TV off, the remote was nowhere to be found. I searched the living room high and low, found an old outdated remote deep in the couch… but not the one that was in my hand when I fell asleep. I apologized for losing the remote and told him to make sure he tells me where it was when it reappears.
I told my landlady the key to the mailbox must be hanging with the remote.
I stood in my living room perplexed. Then I got this feeling to check under the couch cushions. Sure enough it the key to the mailbox was under a cushion! A cushion I almost never sit on!
Think about that one, a mailbox key… my mail, my address, gone from full view (kitchen table) and migrated under a couch cushion rarely used.
Validation #5: Where you think you live is temporarily out of sight. Hidden. Cushions are also resting places, and this part of my life is now resting out of view.
The strangest thing of all… that crazy remote. My son texted me later in the day yesterday to say he found the remote. It was in the kitchen cupboard INSIDE a bag of potato chips!!! How the flipping hell did it get there?
I could have easily discounted the migrating mailbox key… but not coupled with the remote control too!! I had to really ponder this super huge message!!
I have laid my life down here on the Mesa. Many wonderful, exciting things have transpired here in the 4 months my life was brought here. How easy it is to assume, the rest of what I need must be here too.
I am not in this life to see how easy it can be, actually quite the opposite. I am here to stretch and grow as much as I can. What I need for this next immediate stage of my own growth processes is not in the obvious place I would expect it to be.
We talk constantly about living outside of the box…. but really, what does that mean to any of us? Just because we utter a few strange words and concepts does not mean we are living outside of the box, it means we are talking about it.
Granted, I so love this box!! I love it and honor it so much that I know I would be completely discounting everything here should I stay put and live from the safety zone… the rest period that was afforded to me during this time of intense change in life.
Validation #6: Your address and your ability to change life’s channel is not in the obvious places!
I did a meditation yesterday, before either the mailbox key or the remote revelation happened. My heart was really thinking about Jorge! Is he here, is he real, will he find me in Virginia when he emerged from the Mesa Rock??
As soon as I emerged into my bath water and closed my eyes, a massive yellow energy flooded out of the bottom of the Mesa Cliff… where the “doorway” once was that we have all opened together. Thru the liquid yellow flood of Light (remember this is May’s energy too) came Jorge. He stopped right in the center of the field and looked right at me. I asked him the biggest question in my heart… what if I do move back to Virginia, where will you be? His reply was quite interesting… he said “I will be wherever you are.” Really? How does that happen?
A plain english response would have been so appreciated… but god forbid. All of a sudden his eyes were glowing orange. I had seen them glow orange before, but until today, I sure as hell didn’t get it! He placed his energy field within mine, and an explosion took place within me and flew out of my sacral chakra. The moment the energy of his orange eyes blasted out of my sacral chakra, I seen the dome of golden, net like energy over the field collapse and became a part of us…. our new skin.
In my world of readings, the sacral chakra is all about your sense of self within the world around you. My sense of self emerged here as a true empowered Light Being. I now have the energy field, and the energy of Jorge as part of my DNA makeup…
Life is not lived and experienced in a single place… it is multi-verse of experiences that you take with you wherever you go.
How many of us cannot find our passion in life, our right flow… because we keep looking in the same places and what once appeared to be obvious places?
After this intense and beautiful explosion of energy with my beloved Jorge, I had to ask another question, since they (The Guardians) were the very ones that told me about this potential. I asked about being able to live in both New Mexico and Virginia at the same time. They told me I don’t have to choose one over the other… but it is sure feeling like that today.
I was instantly reminded about my adventures last year. Moving back to Virginia for a whopping 3 months only to move right back here to New Mexico, in the very house I left 3 months prior. In the greater scheme of things, I never really left, I just took a pause for the cause.
Of course, I assumed (how often do we do that to ourselves) I would have plenty of money to fly back and forth, that is not the case at all. But I do have a wonderful, understanding landlady who is open to me subletting my life here so someone else so they can feel the growth and energy until my own life brings me back Home. She actually expressed the desire from her heart that it be someone who interacts in my sharings and readings… because she knows, we are the same vibrational energy daring to live life outside of the box and with pure love of doing so! Any takers? This precious cabin on the Mesa of Shambhala comes fully furnished right down to pots and pans as well!!
Life is a series of twists, turns, upheavals and re-plantings. How freely do we allow ourselves to live life fully in that energy?
My two readings yesterday show some amazing energy taking place within the field, within the West Field primarily. Everything is energized for moment… for really living life in the fullest so we can rapidly grow into our new lives. Anything left you are clinging too?? Are you living and exploring what appears to be an obvious places? The real question is, how much do you desire change??
I love you all so flipping much!! Anyone have connections to discounted tires?? I absolutely must have new tires before I embark on a 2000 mile road-trip again. A new life with new tread!! Gotta love it!!
Big big ((((HUGZ)))) of evolutionary change to All!! God speed my friends!