I am coming to the full realization that as much as I thought I understood about energy and using energy, I am so out of my own league of understanding!! We have barely scratched the surface of what we can do energetically. Loosing the details… man oh man, that is my greatest challenge right now. Good thing I am a dedicated student!!!
Of course, I picked a wonderful challenge to begin with, manifesting Jorge!! I must say, he is an absolute wonderful teacher!
But first, let’s be really clear on why it is so important to drop every detail of our desire. Let me give you a really clear example from my own experience. God knows I am filled with dysfunctional experiences (grin.)
Somewhere in the late 90′s I put a computer ad out for a man and my short, but important laundry list that went with my desire in a man.
1. Never married. Did matter I was divorced myself, I couldn’t stand my own jealousy of ex-wives. This was number one on my laundry list!
2. No children! This was equally important as number one because I didn’t want to have to feel second to anyone’s child. Didn’t matter I had 3 children of my own.
3. Must have dark hair and a job. I do believe this is self explanatory!
Within days, the man of my illusion appeared. What a grand illusion he was. We met for drinks and talked for hours. His body, his face, his everything was perfect. He told me he was single and never had children. We fell head over heals in love with each other.
That is, until, months later, I unexpectedly rang his home phone and a child answered the phone. When she was asked if she was related to this man she said it was her father. Holy shit batman!!! He had no choice to come clean… 3 kids and in an 18 year marriage. Dammit!! His excuse for such a profound series of lies… he wanted to be the man of my dreams and created that for me.
It really is amazing how we set ourselves up to get over ourselves. I didn’t want to deal with my jealousy at all… so he had to come into my life to Be that for me. Dammit!!
It is amazing the freedom when you let go of all the details. The expectations. The desires that come from pain unresolved within us.
My only true desire in this moment is to have a partner on this path. Period.
To put any sort of laundry list together is to create Him from the fear of not having “that,” so I would have to get the fear resolution in its place!!
Been there, done that… ain’t happening this time around!!
Going into all the things that not only I share, but sooo many others share… like attracts like. Divine Counterpart means someone equal to your vibratory level of living (do not confuse that with understanding the same stuff, that is not always the case.)
So to pull this man to me, I must first trust who I Am and love myself unconditionally.
I Am There.
But man, he has already emerged in my field of vision with a body and hair to die for!! It was only recently as I was talking with a wonderful client who has a similar vision of Glory in her meditations did we realize…. this just may be a past life form we are connecting to!! Geez… of course!!
Our journey is recognizing the energy of… not the form of…
So Jorge was so gracious to get out of him human skin and become pure energy potential. He still feels the same!! Yummmmy!!
Even tho I use the name Jorge to talk about him, I am doing my very best to lose that in my meditations too. But man, our minds are pretty strong within details.
He strips down to pure energy, I put form to him. He strips again, I cannot help but put the human back on him. This is work!!
A few days ago I was able to maintain my lack of details long enough to get a deeper understanding of what is really transpiring…. sort of.
I was in my bathtub powering up with pure feeling of desire. Granted, my desire had a Jorge embedded in it…. ( I am a work in progress too lol) He emerged as he always does, at the facet near my feet. Half below my bathtub, half above it. In his yummmy past life form. (Where is that wheel of time, I sure would like to click it back to his time… our time in THAT form.)
There is one thing quite clear in my recognition right now… I am so not in love… I am in absolute lust!!
Interesting, in complete contrast with my mentor from years ago, he always showed up in pure energy form, never in human form. I fell in love long before I fell in intimate desire.
That too is telling about our “details.” What we “see” is not always in alignment with what we feel, in our truest sense. We can really get caught up in the “illusion.” Matter itself has no feeling, it is an illusion. The feeling, the pure truth is in the energy of all we “think” we see. To know the truth or pureness is to move beyond what you see.
Tricky… but doable!!
In this particular meditation Jorge moved me out of my bathtub (kinda cramped in there… even energetically lol) and we floated to my couch. He (still wearing clothes of flesh) sat on my couch and I took the liberty of straddling his soooo yummy form. (Can I say how hard I am making this on myself… losing the details… sheez, like taking the icing off the cake lol)
Like I said tho, he is a magnificent teacher… and I a stubborn student!!
As I sat there in my pure bliss of his Being, he said something I never even thought about… I not only need to lose his details, but my own as well. Now there is something The Secret doesn’t share…. don’t see yourself as yourself in the Heaven you so desire.
When all of the past teaching has been centered around “visualization” and at that… I Am really really good… now I gotta drop it like a hot potato!! Geez!!
I may be stubborn but man I am more determined to get this!!
He removed his skin and became rippling waves of energy. In that moment, in that instant, the feeling was like an explosion all around me, within me. I lost my skin too.
There I am, as an outside observer, yet very much the rippling waves of energy co-mingling with an energetic Jorge. Our legs, waist and bottom of our energetic torso’s were one energy. There was no separation at all.
The feelings… man. Not separate at all and intensified in the oneness.
From mid-abdomen up, we were separate. Keep in mind I was straddling what once was his lap.
As the feelings increased, and let me tell you… there were feelings happening I have no words to describe. (I am suddenly reminded of the Light Bulb garden exercise from the other day.)
Every now and again I kept putting skin on Jorge, he kept taking it off. Lordy, lordy lordy… this is a heavenly, bliss-filled hell!!!
I suppose if I wasn’t as much as the observer as I was the participant, I wouldn’t be trying to put skin back on him… It was the me on the other side of the room observing all of this that was “doing” and yet, I know this is such an important lesson in Being.
I watched as I was able to observe the pure energy of the coupling a new detail emerged.
A watery like yellow tube (or something) that formed from his mid-abdomen as well as mine. That place I call the sacrel plexus. It took on feelings of its own.
There were streaks of red running from the bottom upwards. Between being surprised and now filled with questions, I had a really really had a hard time remaining in this space and I fell apart.
And today, I understand two colors and what they feel like as they merge.
Yellow is the energy of desire. Pure, creative desire. The liquid flow of the energy is pure Creator Energy.
Red is the pure passion of Life.
When pure passion moves thru the desire… hold on tight!!
This is where I fell apart. So obviously… the story continues, but not today. As I am able to hold and understand the ongoing experience more, I will share it under this same title, only the “Parts” will have a different description.
Until the next time…. (((((HUGZ)))) dripping in Creator Energy!!