“Experience life in all possible ways — good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light, summer-winter. Experience all the dualities. Don’t be afraid of experience, because the more experience you have, the more mature you become.” ~Osho
Life is a cosmic mystery. We are constantly thrown from one experience to the next. One moment we are feeling high, then low, happy then sad, clear then confused. The polarities that we experience create a divine challenge which is meant to make us dig deeper inside for the real answer. The real answers in life are those that transcend all questions and bring you directly home to the heart and soul of your very being. This open minded enlightened approach to life is what I refer to as the discovery of the “third side of the coin”.
We all know that every coin contains two sides, yet most people forget there is a fine edge that holds the “heads and tails” together. Its along this third side that you can walk along that thin line, balanced in the moment totally free from life’s extremes. You are neither attached to what is good, nor avoiding what is bad. You aren’t trying to get somewhere better, nor trying to get away from something terrible. When you find that magical point in between every two polar experiences in life, something very transcendental starts to occur. You find out that who you really are is that sweet sacred presence that naturally allows both polar extremes to coexist in harmony together.
Its only through riding along the edge between life’s heads and tails that your inner coin cannot “flip out” and cause you to become one sided. When your mind can relax you can balance much easier on that edge. Profound success will manifests effortlessly in your life when you are experiencing a true balance within yourself. Through finding this middle path between every thought and action you take, your mind tends to remain open to abundance, love and a divine receptivity. You find a place of freedom from these seemingly bi-polar worlds, where any emotional drama could arise and never come close to touching this amazing power inside.
Finding the third side of the coin is one of the most enlightening explorations you’ll ever come across in your life. It brings instant liberation from the habit of falling into the illusion of believing in right and wrong, good and bad, sinner and saint. Duality and polarity thinking is the wondrous delusory job of the mind which causes us to take on one side of the coin, pretending this one way is the way the entire Universe absolutely is. If you can always remember this third side of the coin is there, in every situation and circumstance, with every assumption and projection, you’ll continuously discover a freedom that goes beyond the games the mind plays. You’ll find you cannot get hooked into any negative or positive position about yourself or another person again. You realize you are that liberated Self which is truly free and beyond it all.
With practice the mind will one day be on your side. It will become a skilled master at seeing all three sides of every situation before it makes any assumption, belief or assessment. The mastered mind unwillingly accepts with open arms whatever life throws at you, as you know very soon the third side will present itself where you can ride that edge and be liberated from it all. Knowing that a third side of the coin always exists brings the deepest relaxation into the body, where you can let go of the minds addictive need to figure out what is wrong and what is right.
Sometimes to really know you’ve reached the third side of the coin, the pendulum of life must fully swing to its opposite extreme. For example, someone who is battling with an addiction may first need to form a very rigid mental and emotional wall to push away from the substance they are addicted to. They will need to formulate a judgment about the substance, calling it “evil” and wrong for anyone on this planet to touch this forbidden fruit. An extreme polarization in thinking is necessary for any addict to take the first step on the path to freedom.
They will need to believe themselves to be powerless over the substance before they can accept the pendulum swing towards feeling empowered again. However, for the addict to truly find peace inside they must soften the wall that once protected them, and find that divine presence inside which needs no walls. They must discover a place inside which is much more free than their mind. This presence is so fulfilling that it has no resistance to any substance, and also free from their illusion that they can be fed and fulfilled by the substance.
Having complete equanimity of mind is such a fine and delicate process. Its like trying to get this coin to balance precisely on its thin edge. The mind will attempt to try to improve life, make things more perfect, and yet life in itself is already perfect all the time. The mind then has to take on the biggest chore in the Universe. It has let go, trust life and accept this perfection that is in everything around it. Everything is deeply perfect and in balance all the time. Even though your mind may not see it, it is there. You simply need to unravel your beliefs, find the third side of the coin and this perfection will reveal itself to you.
There is no way we can forcefully push away thoughts and find peace. Any thoughts you have that you cannot accept will eventually consume your mind and destroy your peacefulness inside. Anytime we create resistance to a memory, sensation, or feeling, the coin remains stuck only showing one side of the situation, causing your entire reality to be slanted towards the extreme. Anytime you find yourself feeling strongly for or against something, just know that your mind is being temporarily enslaved and caught in the illusion thatonly one side of the coin exists and is real.
The secret to really being free in this life comes down to learning how to master each thought you have. This is not done through controlling, avoiding or ignoring your thoughts, but by seeing them for what they are. They are just thoughts, some are positive, some negative, and some neutral. Its how you react to these thoughts is what makes you into a master or a mouse. One who has mastered their relationship with their mind has learned how to welcome each thought in, as if it were a new guest. The master allows the thoughts to come inside, sit down, have a cup of tea, and enter into the divine sanctuary of your soul. Here your thoughts are transformed and seen as the enlightened gifts they actually are. Each one is a subtle clue that lights your way on the path towards a spiritual awakening.
The deeper you dive into this journey of finding the third side of the coin, the more you realize that balance in life equals profound happiness. When you find that razors edge with eating just enough food (but not too much) your body rewards you with feeling healthy, happy and energized. When you are having just enough sex, just enough sleep, just enough intimate conversations, and just enough exercise, you’ll discover a natural joy seems to follow you wherever you go. When you’re not too dependant on your partner, nor too independent and distant from them, you’ll find the most exquisite natural Tantric love affair naturally blossoms through.
Life is truly experienced as an amazing and magical adventure when you are listening to your body’s signals, and respect your body enough to know when to say yes please more and when to say no thank you I’ve had enough.
When you find that your mind is constantly clinging to some certain ideas, notice that it is holding onto only one side of the coin. Stop and notice how much energy you’re wasting in rejecting the other side. Be curious and open your mind. What is it about the other side that is so scary for you? What would happen if you just relaxed with other side for a few days? When we can challenge ourselves to explore those realms that are frightening inside us, we start to grow and evolve as human beings. When you can choose to accept that everything in life contains both good and bad qualities, you suddenly realize you don’t have to work so hard to get your desires met. Then a natural creative flow of energy starts moving through you, and the real juiciness of life takes over as you find that you have instant access to your divine essence at all times.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi
Its good to be gentle with yourself in this process. The third side of the coin is not always easy to find, especially when its buried underneath a major past life lesson you came here to learn. There is an inherent blindness that every soul incarnates with, which this blindness also has a negative, positive and neutral side to it. This means you will not be able to clearly see the karmic patterns and unconscious habits that you have until you’re fully ready to release them.
This is ok, for you do not need to know exactly what you need to let go of until you are truly ready to let it go. When the fruit is ripe it will naturally fall from the tree on its own accord. Its ok if you keep leaning towards a particular one-sided viewpoint and away from another. When the soul is ready to grow, it will and you’ll receive the life lesson you need. Everything happens at the perfect time and place where your soul can receive and integrate each lesson fully.
If you try forcing your mind to walk perfectly on this razors edge, you may feel like you need a million lifetimes as a Zen master to get it perfectly perfect. The real goal here is not to perfect your life. Your life is already perfect, so its more a matter of seeing the perfection that is already here now. This means being open and thankful for the lessons you’re here to learn. The sweet pendulum of life will swing to extremes, testing your ability at remaining centered and riding your edge. When you can remain perfectly still and silent in the center of the cyclone, then all those voices in your head don’t have a chance at taking you hostage.
By being so centered at the core of your consciousness, no matter what life throws at you, you can simply relax deeper into it, receiving it with real gratitude and joy. This is the sign of a true master, and inside of this person a stillness is found wherever they go. By simply bringing your consciousness into every one of your actions, the master will blossom within you and your life will become the most amazing beloved teaching you could ever imagine.
On this sacred path to finding the third side of the coin you will acquire profound wisdom and insights that you may want to broadcast with everyone. Just remember that you don’t have to change anyone or teach anybody anything. Life is a master at teaching people what they most need to learn when they are ready to learn it. Pushing your ideas on others (without their request) can just upset that beloved balance you once found inside yourself.
Remember that your insights are sacred gifts for you, and that if you give them away too quickly, you’ll miss the alchemical process each one was destined to give to you.
“When I look inside and see that I am nothing, that is wisdom. When I look outside and see that I am everything, that is love. And between these two, my life turns.” – Nisargadatta Maharaj
It’s good to remember that we cannot fully control anything in this life nor would we want to. Some wise beings say the only thing you have control over is your response to life, yet on some deeper karmic level you may not have 100% control over this. There is a power and presence running through us that is so penetrating, it reaches into the very fabric of your thinking process. The Universe is always much more intelligent than we can comprehend. It is this divine intelligence that is truly running the show, and the more you can surrender your life to it and trust it, the more you will know exactly what you need to do, where to go and what you most need to know to manifest every dream you’re wanting to create in this lifetime.