There is one very big lesson I have learned so clearly living this life of spiritual awareness and remembrance, Ascension: death and rebirth, is not a one time event at all. It is a continuing series of events that I have a feeling will last the entirety of this incarnation.
The second thing that goes hand in hand with the ascension process, the dark night of the soul always comes straight along with it. (If you are not familiar with what the “dark night of the soul” is, just click here. This is bar far the very best discription of the dark night I have ever read out there.) Here is an excerpt from that site about the dark night:
The dark night occurs after considerable advancement toward higher consciousness. Indeed, the dark night usually occurs like an initiation before one of these special seekers is admitted into regular relationship with higher consciousness. The dark night also occurs to those who do not seek relationship but immersion or unity in the higher consciousness. While the term dark night of the soul is used broadly, its general meaning — in the field of higher consciousness — is a lengthy and profound absence of light and hope. In the dark night you feel profoundly alone.
In the beginning of this process, the dark night seems to last forever and is very much like having a vice grip in hell and a memory of the spiritual path that got you to that point. The good news about this whole dark night/ascension process is as you master each vibratory level that the dark night is there for, the time within the dark night becomes less and less, and the dark is not really dark any longer… because now you know what it is there for. You know why all of your spiritual resources seemed to fall away…. again. Instead of landing in the dark night, it is more like late afternoon (smile.)
I landed here a couple hours after my last reading on Friday. it felt like this super tight fitting energy just squeezed itself onto me, moving me deeper and deeper within myself. Moving thru physicality was a challenge. Everything seemed to just irritate me… especially talking.
I had a friend unexpectedly show up Friday evening and my communication was more like a dog barking her out the door than anything that was kind and loving…. at all. My ego was in full protection mode and I never even realized it until late yesterday.
I woke up at 3am yesterday and sat at the computer to write and my processing brain was nowhere to be found. My body was here, the rest of me… elsewhere. I decided to go back to sleep. I woke up from a busy dream state with one thing prominently in my awareness: How critical the slate blue color is to our present moment. I woke up while I was still reading a blog I wrote in the dream from the beginning of the year, and in this first paragraph of the blog was what the slate blue energy is for as it arrived.
I sat at my computer once again, all I could think about was the slate blue energy, I couldn’t even type out a word, words seemed to be completely missing from my processing. I gave up on trying to share anything yesterday. All I could do was feel and expand in that feeling all the while feeling so utterly confined by this squeezing energy field around my entire body.
I went outside to have a moment with life. It was like stimulation overload and I could only endure moments before I came back in the house. My inner processes hung, as if on repeat, with the slate blue energy. But yet, without words to give texture to what I was feeling, I was just processing beyond my consciousnesses ability to express.
By the time my first appointment rolled around, I could feel the same energy envelope my as the night before when my friend stopped by… irritation from having to speak. This is a first for me. I have gone many times to what I call “the deep within” but never has it been so utterly difficult to release even for a moment to do my job! I talk and translate for a living!
The moment I opened my mouth to say hi, I could see and feel my entire energy field rattle like someone was shaking the hell out of me. My words became forced and void of the joy that I feel when I speak. I could see nothing beyond myself. It was as if I had no outer vision, every aspect of me was trained on Me.
I took a bath. Whatever was happening to me was like nothing I have ever felt before. Granted July slammed me on my ass all month long, sleeping like I have never done before… ever. I did have a feeling tho, whatever I am experiencing now, must be what it all was leading up to.
I took a bath! Desperate to really understand the squeeze I was feeling and the irritation that only existed if I tried to connect with someone.
Well, holy birth canal batman!!
I was in someone’s womb watching… no…. fully experiencing the birth of a baby. It is only this morning do I realize we are both the baby and the mother.
I watched as the baby started to push itself, with the very helpful contractions of the mother (life itself) out of the nurturing womb and start the expansion of the pelvic girdle. This was not a very physically comportable experience let me tell you.
We can look at the expansion of the pelvic bone area as the us, the baby, pushing thru the reality construct that got up to here. Safely and richly nourished by the nutrients of our spiritual journey. Now… we must go beyond that. Break free of even the spiritual confines we have built for ourselves. Spread our reality apart so we can emerge into the new.
I could feel the pressure on the baby’s head as it opened the passage way with its cranium. The baby was now in a movement it could not stop, yet, did not understand either.
My meditation ended as the baby’s face was now smooshed up against a vagina wall. It’s entire face pressed against this thick padding of flesh as it squeezed thru the birth canal. I looked at the baby’s face and understood why I could not talk. The baby was in the process of releasing the amniotic fluid that got it to here, and has yet to take its first breath of new life, of new air and was no longer a part of either world… but somewhere in-between.
I rescheduled my entire day.
The energy and awareness did not leave me once I drained my bath. If nothing else, it became more present, more vivid in my morning. I felt like I had one foot in my 3D reality and one foot so fully in spirit that it was disorienting to say the least.
My entire physical body felt very confused. Like it should be running around doing something, yet didn’t contain the freedom of movement to do a thing. I felt like I was insatiably hungry, yet had no desire to eat.
I could feel a presence, a presence that seemed so much bigger than me, prompt me to the kitchen window where my hummingbirds feed. I now have 3 feeders there, 16 holes in which a hummer can eat from. There was 2 hummingbirds feeding when I moved my body to the window. The moment I stood there by my sink and just looked… the hummers seemed to all get together at once and within 30 seconds and every hole had a hummer gulping down nectar.
I remember the time last week when spirit showed me how life comes to you as you “look” upon it. Was this another reminder?
I went to the backdoor where all the other birds feed. There was 2 quail and a morning dove pecking at the ground. As I stood there at the backdoor, just like the hummers… within about 30 seconds there were at least 20-30 birds that seemed to come out of the woodwork (brush) to feed in that instant.
My mind turned to the group collective.
These birds seem to come and go as if on cue with each other. There are some scouts out there (the two or three that arrive first) and when they feel they are in the right place, send out a signal that calls everyone else into their experience.
When one get afraid, the majority get afraid too and fly off. Just one moves out of the vibration of love… of the very thing that brought them to that reality of experience, the rest feel the fear and move out of the experience too.
But what of the few birds that stay? They are the ones that completely removed themselves from the group fear reality.
We too (us humans) work very much like that as well.
What we look at, we bring to us. Then, we bring even more of “that” too us. Everything has gotten stronger within our creation. Fear seems to be on steroids these days… but then again… so does the magic of love.
Often times, we abort our new life to remain in the old familiar, the tried and true. The comfortable place of experience. We do have that choice… dammit!!
We have become so accustomed to catering to everyone else, we do not allow ourselves our own, unique processes of birth and abort our new life. Ain’t no wonder C-Sections have become commonplace within the USA. We are not willing to go thru the bonding/binding experience because it is too uncomfortable.
Our soul is coming down the birth canal of the new life. Bonded to the new human in ways we had only ever remembered dreaming about. You cannot have a C section… not without consequences.
The dark night of the soul is like the last stage of labor into the new reality of your creation. To simply cut yourself out of it is having to do it all over again… and again… and again. Good thing time does not really exist. As I have said before, there are a million incarnations that will each give you this same opportunity, until you finally break away from all fear and bind yourself into the full expression of Love.
I felt the pressure of it all release itself from my entire Being late yesterday afternoon. It is so nice to be able to put words to the process.
And yet, there are no words for what we are about to do…. just pure feeling.
What are you feeling when you gaze upon your reality??
Me personally… I feel magic in the air. A creative potential that we have never known before… and I LOVE IT!!
And I LOVE YOU!! My beautiful partnership of this reality!!
((((HUGZ)))) of slate-blue joy and magic to All!!