Surrender… what a word! Just the thought of it can evoke feelings of giving up, giving in, not fighting for what you (fill in the blank.) But yet, when you feel with the energy of surrender, oh my god it feels freeing. Energy flows within the act of surrendering, even if the mind wants to state negatives with it.
Now feel with the opposite of surrendering: fighting. All I can see is a ball of tangled up energy. The energy cannot flow because it is a tangled of gnarled knot. So if we are in fight mode, how can we ever really and fully achieve what we are fighting for?
Doesn’t seem we are always fighting / working for something. Often times our working towards something is really a great guise for the energy of fighting.
I have been working towards (fighting for) getting back to Virginia over the last two months. By vertue of my perceived savings account I have seemed to won a 1/4 of the fight with winning. I at least had enough for a plane ticket and to pay for airport parking while gone.
In one single morning, the fight went in a completely unexpected direction.
I gave up, gave in, surrendered to the fact that I lost my fight because there was a battle I needed to tend to that I didn’t see coming.
How often does life do that to us!! Gotta love the challenge!!
I completely let go… Placed my white flag of surrender deep into my mind.
Trust… Now this is really a tricky word. It is one of the hardest things to achieve in life. Full and absolute trust that life will work out exactly as it should, which evokes our fighting for what we want/desire.
But what is it that we really don’t trust? That someone (either seen or unseen) has our back all the time. That we will be taken care of no matter what. Or is it the fact we have faced so many obstacles in our past, in our path to here, that we no longer trust the way forward completely?
In fact, at the end of the day, what we are really saying is we don’t trust ourselves. Even if we give it the survival illusion of placing our lack of trust on someone or something else. What are we really not trusting about ourselves? Do we not trust that we deserve to have (fill in the blank.) Maybe, the real issue is, we are not there for others, therefore others will not be there for us.
At the end of the day, our trust issues only have one real direction… in us.
So, when I surrendered my desire to go hug my 2 and a half year old grandson next month, the love I have for him stung my eyes. But equally, the love I have for you and what I do had to be as equally important. I trusted (bitching does not mean not trusting lol,) that it will work out somehow, sometime.. And too be clear, as long as y/our bitching is NOT fueled with anger.
Allowing… What the hell does that even mean! We are so programmed to be in control of our life, of what we want to, push thru no matter the toll on our lives or health. The word allowing is snuggled up in bed with the word Surrender. They are divine counterparts of their own!
To allow whatever is going to happen, to just happen. Just thinking of that can cause a knee jerk reaction in so many and that question: What if what comes is not what I want.” Let me tell you, you always get what you want, its just not wrapped up in the way you expected to either get it, or what it looks like as an end result and often times both!
Allowing time and space to come together in a beautiful package of presentation… that’s trust!!
In my trip to Virginia, I didn’t take it off the table, just allowed for something else to take it’s place with the fight money I had set aside for it!
Receive… This can be a very confusing word too. Granted, we have all been programmed to give and not receive, and the many other adages that go along with that thought form.
But there is a more pesky side to this receiving energy. How it will arrive in our world of created reality.
There is an old story about a man caught in flood and he asks god to help him. God says he will and sends a boat and then a helicopter and the man refuses the boat and the helicopter because he expected god to show up himself. Then was surprised when he died.
How many times do we receive exactly what we need to move us forward, to fulfill the heart desires, but because it didn’t look like we expected, or came from a source we didn’t want… we ignored it, then complained we didn’t receive our hearts desire!
Life is always about balance, giving and receiving, breathing in, breathing out. Night gives way to day, day gives way to night. Yet we, as conditioned, do not. Yet, when all we ever do is give, we become depleted. If all we ever do is take, we become bloated.
Receive without judgement!! Without preconceived conditions. In packages and experiences you would have never dreamed of receiving. If you choose to Be like this in life, you will never miss a thing, an opportunity to have all you desired to manifest and grow.
A client gave me a mind boggling (to me) donation with the direction in the instruction field “Buy your ticket to Virginia.” Of course, I read that after I got over the shock that there were TWO zeros after the 5. All I really wanted to do was send the money back to him. No one in their right mind should be sending me $500. Especially when I know their story!!
I was glad he and I had a reading scheduled yesterday, because then we could talk about this crazy act of his! My plan after our reading (that didn’t take place since I was in lala land all day yesterday) was to talk him into letting me give him a refund. But since he talked first, that thought never even left my lips. He said his spiritual team made him do it. That he had no desire to send that much, and was willing to send a little bit. But his team said no, more than that. Until he hit the $500 mark, then they released their grip on him.
Then he had the nerve to talk about booking a reading from me for next month. Holy freakin shit batman, I am not taking another penny from you… you have readings free for life!! He stopped me in my tracks and said no. This was a gift and he will pay for my services when he uses them.
A part of me felt like shit. Well then how do I give back? He talked about my blogs, my website and what I do just because I can… and he choose to do something just because he can! Both of us chorused by our spiritual team of heart guidance.
Yes, no one in their right mind would do such things, but we are in our right heart together. All of us. As one. We really do take care of each other, each in our own way. Making sure our dreams come true thru our own heart beats of ability and love.
The day prior, I had someone send me $50 towards my VA trip next month. So with $550 I am booking my flight tomorrow and also reserving a rental car so I can also hug my daddy… a father I have not hugged in 36 years!!
Thru it all, my youngest daughter who has not talked to me in months, started talking to me again. She is going to meet my father with me when I go.
On top of all this… god working in His ways thru peoples hearts… I was also in a reading two days ago talking to a girl about her massive life changes coming up, a spiritual school she will be attending within 3 weeks and her having up and quite her job, spirit hushed her worry about money, saying it is already there.
After our reading together, she started talking about something, really, someone. The passion that flowed from her voice to my heart was sooooo different, so alive than the worry that was threaded thru the reading. Instantly I said you need to use that voice. A voice of authority, of knowing.
Well, by the time we finished talking we stuck up a partnership together. She is completely rebuilding the soul gym website to make it functional as a gym. She happens to be a webmaster. I needed one of those!!
She also mentioned from the last reading that I need to do a radio show, because when she listened to the reading that was recorded, she laughed her ass off. So, we are going to co-host together The Soul Gym Comedy Hour, (it will actually be a half hour to start) which will launch as soon as the website is functional.
For me, meditation wise, this has been the most disconnected week of my life, or at least a very long time. I have said many times in the past, when we are in the midst of our greatest change, we are completely disconnected from that which guided us to here so we can make choices of our own accord. I am so grateful tho, it has not really affected readings this week… until yesterday.
What is really funny, when I woke up yesterday morning, I was half in a dream experience and half out of a dream actually waking up. To be clear, a dream experience is those dreams that seem so real, so vivid that you know it is happening somewhere.
As I was waking up (keep in mind, I sleep on my couch) I was sitting on my couch typing away with my new computer. I knew I was working hard on all the material needed for the soul gym. As I was gradually waking up I was really confused because I knew my new laptop would not be here until Thursday, how can I be using it already?
I could not tell what was real and what was not. Until my bladder screamed good morning and I sat up.
The only reason I bought that new computer is because spirit has been pushing me to get that soul gym launched already. But the other thing I needed was help.
I got more help this week than I can even conceive of. My new business partner’s name is Heather! What makes me smile about her name, my oldest daughter before her young life fell apart… every single one of her baby dolls was named Heather. Why this feels so good and comforting to my heart… I have no idea. But it does.
Yup… we are embarking on our new lives… TOGETHER!! We are creating the dreams come true for each other, thru each other.
We are God made manifest!
We each are the STAR of Life, breaking ground by example. Never to follow or fight again, instead, we will shine brightly as the night sky filled with STARs!!
Huge ((((((HUGZ))))) of STAR-Light from my heart to yours!!