Perhaps you have been pouncing on evidence of not being loved rather than citing evidence of being loved. Like a cat pouncing on a toy, you pounce on your being overlooked. Or, someone indeed may love you. There is clear evidence ten times over, and then there is a time or two when you do not seem to get top billing, and you are devastated. Then it is like you are the wicked witch in Sleeping Beauty and you question: “Who is the most loved of all in all the land?” If the mirror of your mind names someone else, you are upset to distraction.
Instead, distract yourself from a sense of lack. Look for that which you like. That is the only thing to look for. Do not look for incidents where you are overlooked. I am telling you to overlook the slightest evidence that you are being overlooked.
You can’t bear to appear to be second fiddle. You can’t bear that you may not be valued the way you so desperately want and must have. You do indeed deserve to be loved. Here’s the thing, beloveds: Love yourself as you deserve, and you will not need so much love from outside you.
Feeling in need of love does not become you. Your need makes it harder for another to love you. Free yourself from neediness, and you free yourself to be loved by all the world.
Better for you to focus on your own giving of love. You be the one who loves. Plant evidence of your love along the way. Rather than being wary that you are being neglected, remind yourself that you have love to give and give it. Hands off is often great evidence of love. Freeing another to be himself or herself is great love.
And so it comes to pass that sometimes your giving of love can be shown in your backing off, for what you may see as your loving another may be practiced possession rather than love. Whereas you cannot love too much, you can possess too much. You can crave too much. You can demand too much. You can swallow someone up in your love and your need for love. Is what I’m saying ringing any bells?
Love with a full heart, and let the one you love be free. No one is responsible for the joy in your heart. You are. You alone are. Well, you and I are. No one else is responsible for the sense of love in your heart but you. This awareness is a great relief to those who love you, and it will be a great relief to you when you love yourself. You are not dependent upon someone else for the love in your heart. You are not dependent.
When you are a sponge soaking up someone else’s love energy, you may well be denying another the opportunity to love you.
On occasion, in your need for love, you have been like a dunning bill collector. Can you admit this?
You have craved love, and you have craved love the way you have designated love must be, as if love from another has to be your way or not at all. Let go of the reins of love you have held tightly in your hand. Be an allower of love. Do not force the hand of love, for then you have made a fist of your hand. Be an easy-going giver and receiver of love. You do this by not holding on to love as if you cannot live without the evidence of it that you seek.
Seek to give love, beloveds, and give it from your true heart. If love were food, your cooking would not be all about your favorite foods. You would be glad to cook for another’s palate, not just your own, wouldn’t you?