I find myself increasingly returning to stillness. This is not stillness as in non-movement. It is stillness as the current. A kind of knowing. A glimpse of infinite time as I move with the wholeness, feeling the waves of completion and the continual insights. The moving energy enlarges my capacity and creates my continual expanding wholeness with me.
I welcome all of this.
I am learning to truly relate to myself in deep unity. To allow all that arises within me to be given it’s flow without interpreting, without holding back while I see if it’s what I want, without fear of expressing. Instead of all of this, I flow.
I am leaning back and I let go. I feel the current, my oneness with it, and our shared movement. I feel a stillness within this movement. I feel safe and excited, deeply awed and calm. I feel the gift of grace. I feel love.
Amidst this I notice things. For example–I’m giving a lot of readings right now and they are very different, more powerful and easier. I am aware of an enormous shift in my capacity to transmit energy. What used to take an hour now happens quickly, with intensely focused clarity and accompanied by very generous and liberating energies of love and grace. I just tune into the person and let it flow through me needing nothing other then our shared focus. The acceleration, the speed this energy desires, I allow. I feel the amazing joy of allowing life to use me as a conduit for meeting others and I am honored. People tell me that all their questions are answered before they even ask them. I’m awed to discover how much we are given simply by asking. How our very private inner longings are known so perfectly by All-That-Is and how perfectly we are met. I feel the way the energy reaches right in, direct and clear, lighting up the most relevant part of our life here, clarifying, re-instating, reflecting, encouraging, validating, expanding.
Each day I awaken filled with energy. No matter how long I sleep or what I eat I have incredible energy and feel very relaxed. I experiment and find this sustained. I discover myself as more and more whole. I notice I feel so happy. Days pass with no concerns. I feel no need to do more–a change for me–there is no more pushing myself. I feel very appreciative of all the others playing with me, doing their God-Dance. So beautiful what we are all being. I am more appreciative of who I am. The way All-That-Is lives as Meredith. It is so beautiful. I am embracing the way I am right now. My pace, my way of doing things, my patterns, my preferences. My piles of books, my love of grey skies and yellow leaves, my deep obsession with the perfect socks, my love affair with my dogs. All of it is me–I love me. I love the variety of how I am interested in experiencing life. I love the way my mind, my emotions, my body want to feel alive and inspire me toward a continued experience of this. I feel joy. I give myself what calls to me. What my body needs. I listen. I allow myself to be led from within. I am clear. I know what I need. I am in the flow. Letting myself be has shown me my capacity I have for continually experiencing abundant energy and focus.
I have learned the trick, the gift of not making one thing better than another. Wow. How long I lived without this? How exhausting it was–always trying to do the better thing, the best thing, the optimum thing–as if I needed to be always reaching, discerning. As if I couldn’t trust myself to just be one with my desire, my urges in every way, and simply let them shape my life. Collaborating with life creatively when I felt like it but out of the joy of expression and innovation, invention and play, for no other reason than for joy.
I discovered this week I could let anger move through me simply and with total allow. There was no fear. I did not experience a desire to change it. I was angry. Then I was done being angry. Then I forgot about being angry. It was a complete experience and nothing lingered. The usual anxiety I had felt after expressing anger, the need to “fix” it in some way, was not there. Seeing this I had a big release. I felt so much emotion realizing how complete our experiences can be and the freedom of this. Then that felt completed. I went and got an iced coffee and a cookie and went shopping for a sweater. I found a nice one and now I’m wearing it and I’m warm.
More and more I am aware that I live in harmony with myself and this has become a living purpose, a big enough dream, the way of being that I reach for. It’s who I am. The commitment and devotion to my genuine presence have become my nature. I am at ease. At peace with me. ‘Feels good.