Guest: I like to win. And then when I’m winning I get excited and feel like it will always be this way. And then I start claiming the victory for myself, and then it quits. Like I think it should just always be that way and then get crushed when it doesn’t. How do I get past that?
This is a topic that is fairly loaded with conventional beliefs about games, and competition, and the concept of winning and losing. So we are going to kind of slice through to the very core of the whole rotten apple, and get you to the place where you can revisit your beliefs, which do not serve you very well in this regard. At the very core of this belief system is the whole idea of competition.
So how can it be, that if you are the creator—and you are—how can it be that there is competition, unless you have also created it? How can you compete without competitors? How could you have a war without enemies?
If you want to create for yourself a field of play where there is no competition, where you succeed every time, you cannot declare yourself to be the “winner.” When you declare yourself to be the “winner” you have declared someone else to be the “loser.” You have exited the non-competing field of oneness and entered the dualistic field of “winner” and “loser.”
We are certain this is why that is happening to you; that you find yourself on the losing side so quickly after declaring yourself a victor. Your beliefs about games, and competition, and the economics of limited supply—so that there can only be one winner—come into play. And you learned these beliefs and adopted them from your fellow beings long ago in your experience.
That’s why some people work their way around this by declaring God to be the winner in every competition: It gets themselves out of the trap of dualistic, limited resource play. As long as you have beliefs that there are limited resources, limited dollars, limited prizes to be won, you will continue to be trapped by the “win-lose” game. Even those who try to beat the system by playing “win-win” are still often unconsciously containing that whole opposite aspect of loss.
Our suggestion is that you begin to view yourself, and your entire field of being, your entire “playing” field so to speak, as manifestations of oneness, of the one Source of All. And most importantly, recognize that you are an equal extension of that Source as well. Your thoughts, desires, goals, wants are all part of the Source equation. Source relies upon your unique perspective and desires to spark the process of creation anew each day. And success in this field of play does not require a winner or a loser.
In other words it’s OK to want to “win” in the sense of going beyond, achieving more, becoming more than you were the day before. It’s OK to take your lumps along the way, for when you are joyfully engaged with Source you don’t care. Do you think those kids out there on their surfboards really care when they get dumped hard? That has to hurt. Nope. Not a bit. They get right up and go out and do it again and again. Why? Because they are engaged with the Source of All to create new experience.
And notice that in that crystal clear moment of riding the wave there is nothing at all like competition going on; not in the mind of the athlete. Riding the wave, being in the zone, is all about Source connection in the now moment. There is no competition. When you are engaged with the Source of All as you go through your day, no matter what you are doing, competition is irrelevant. You already won the moment you plugged in to Source regardless of the outcome.