Why in 2013, no news is bad news
While vaguely of the opinion that Ben Fellows’ ‘disappearance’ is another example of a cunning stunt – and still being unclear as to the real flag beneath which he serves – I do find it quite extraordinary that as far as I can tell, not a single MSM title or news station in the UK of which I’m aware has even acknowledged the ‘story’, let alone written anything about it. But then, disappearance is becoming such a commonplace thing now, it’s quite possible that most newspaper editors regard it as akin to Mourinho’s return to Chelsea in terms of a fresh news genre.
The Two Lovers of Downing Street (is it a hitherto unpublished play by Shakespeare? If so, Murdoch will probably buy it) have also disappeared from the mainstream media. Given that the firm wish of most decent souls in the UK is that the couple should disappear into an HM Prison for a long time, there is a very good case for not naming them called ‘legal reasons’….the universally used term – given that sub judice, for example, would give the game away to quite a few afficianados of this snail-like soap yarn. My problem with them is that the ‘news’ involved is more yawn than yarn, and thus leaves me still wondering WTF the MoS published it now.
I suspect the answer to this last question is the other ongoing rival soap to Eastenders – called Westminsters – in which almost the entire population of Planet Bubble tries every trick in the book to destabilise the Knights of Camerlot. Umpteen right-wing sites, for example, were putting it about yesterday that the bonking duet were none other than Sam Cameron and Boris Johnson – a rumour which I can scotch immediately, and you read it here first. Also notable was ARP Warden lookalike Lord Ashcroft (a Peer renowned for his desire to put Dave’s light out for good) tweeting for England about the possibility of one of the participants being Draper Osborne.
The neat part of this spin-bollocks is that it leaves Lord Cameron of Google unable to respond to some of the more pernicious ID kits being made up for the purpose of giving him the appearance of a Cadaver in the H2O – because, oops sorry, nearly wrote something naughty there.
But in reality, these two trending topics do have a couple of things in common: first, they’re both almost certainly stunts; and second, intrinsic to the nature of the stunts is nothing appearing in the traditional media. In a nutshell, they are – literally – non-news….but something lots of people are chattering about. And of course, that’s the point.
Aside from the odd accidental disaster (and even some of these leave me with a dubious aftertaste) real news has ceased to exist in the 21st Century. Ever since Alistair Campbell sold Blair the ‘idea’ that the media were there to be f**ked over, and electors unashamedly lied to, the soi-disant mainstream titles have been – for any discerning reader – utterly unreliable. Tonight’s telly listings and the footie scores are about it for me: the rest of it is at least in part some unelected control-freak’s illiberal and anti-democratic fat-headed agenda.
That too is not exactly news: but the audacity to think about bringing down Camerlot based on rumour and innuendo – the very mantra used 24/7 during Lord McAlpiavelli’s meander up the garden path three months ago – is a further step in the refinement of naked truth into the heavily disguised murder of it.
The MSM will, at some point, rue the day they decided on the use of short spoons when dealing with devils. And the thing most likely to achieve that result (in favour of real, online digging ) is for decent, like-minded and street-wise reporters of all socio-political denominations to create more formal alliances based on zero agenda.
Some years ago, Channel Four’s Krishnan Guru-Murthy – the world’s only maharishi Irish landlord newshound – was brilliantly prescient when he chose as a Labour Conference theme, ‘The Internet is for Opposition”. Were I looking to update that bold idea today, however, I’d argue that The Internet is the Resistance’. Any desire to stop the contagion of ideas rich in hidden evil can be opposed constitutionally….up to but not beyond the point where Beelzebub owns all the weapons – and has occupied the territory one holds dear. At that point, the only option left is resistance.