Following new revelations from the Sunday People and Newscorp, on the day that George Osborne declares China really jolly nice after all, The Slog offers some help in joining up the dots re this one.
There are times when I think certain that the real George Osborne is actually 40 feet tall, but they have to use holograms to reduce him to human proportions. Both these hypotheses seem to me irrefutable, because you can see Osborne coming from a mile off, and he carries no weight at all when it comes to economic strategy. I’m afraid as well that, although the Draper is gaining a reputation in Whitehall for being the man who can avoid any solid storm emerging from even the most powerful fan, there is one thing creeping up behind him right now: an his attempt to get away with it could end his career quicker than a south American socialite.
So let’s start with China not being a sweatshop…..by which he means the appalling working conditions, terrible pay of the workers there, the hot-headedness of the younger military….and, um, the corruption and organised crime endemic in the Chinese culture. Now: where have I heard this kind of arse-licking belief suspension stuff before? Oh yes, that’s it – with the bankers.
Anyway, you would never know would you that (a) Osborne is in China, (b) last June we signed a Yuan/Sterling currency swap trade deal with China – see earlier at The Slog – and (c) Wee George needed an excuse for relaxing the visa rules for Chinese nationals coming to Britain? Well you do now, because I just told you: but my God, what a truly ghastly, spineless little man he is. George Osborne would ask us to get all loved up about how pretty the tanks look in Tianmen Square if he thought it would earn Britain some munneeee.
And this is before we get to free speech violations and torture of dissenters, plus imprisonment without trial for dissidents, and the unutterably shoddy, British-jobs destroying nature of almost all Chinese imports.
But it doesn’t end there: for the Chancellor has not so much ruffled feathers in the Camerlot Cabinet as set the fox on the chickens. Theresa May is hopping mad because she understands the organised crime links only too well; and a few of those who see Jeremy Hunt as a pipsqueak are irritated that his original plan to relax Chinese visa conditions (blocked by May and others) is now going to go through. (Jeremy Hunt’s wife is….Chinese).
But most of all, Babyface Hague and his FCO managers are rather upset about how this is going to play with the Special Relationship he has been nurturing. I mean with the US, not his researcher.
But you see, the Chancellor of the Exchequer is another of those chaps who isn’t happy unless he’s taking risks, or recreational aids, or following quims sorry whims. A long time ago (during 2005 to be exact) he had to work very hard at calming down a Mr Andrew Coulson over one story in the now extinct Murdoch smutheap The News of the World. The dear old NoW had cornered an up and coming (oops) Osborne in the company of a hooker, Ms Natalie Rowe:
So the story goes, after personally fashioning a few bottom-bricks, Osborne was given a mission in return for further silence about the major indiscretion: get us into Number Ten as and when you get elected.
Now all this may very easily be rumour and innuendo…the sort of poppycock for which anyone criticising the Camerlot-Murdoch political shagfest is infamous. Mind you, all those rumours about Newscorp having bought the Met Police lock stock and barrel, and Rupe threatening revenge, did turn out to be….but let’s not go down that boulevard. Let’s simply stick with some facts:
1. At the time of this little caper, David Cameron did not want to know Newscorp. His advisors were telling him that no way should he get involved with the Digger. (Read James Hanning’s book on Cameron: it confirms this)
2. The gobetween for the Murdoch-Tory relationship kick-off was…..George Osborne. Ask anyone in the senior ranks at that time: they too will confirm this. Jeremy Hunt – an Osborne ally since 2005, just fancy that – was also there to guide things from early on.
3. Andy Coulson became David Cameron’s Communications Chief….and moved with him into Downing Street. He now faces a number of serious criminal charges….the trial for which has been delayed, er, three times. See the Slogpost of last week for more local detail on this….and the ambitions of G G Osborne Esq.
3. Just as the hooker Natalie Rowe was about to make fresh allegations about her relationship with Chancellor George Osborne, her home has been raided by police. Seems an odd thing for them to do if this is all rumour and innuendo, what? All sounds a tad fishy.
Apparently, a dozen or so Drugs Squad officers armed with a battering ram burst into her London flat in a dawn swoop. They claimed they were acting on a drugs tip-off from a member of the public. Asked by Ms Rowe why they had no sniffer dog with them, one of the Plods said they “couldn’t use a dog due to Government cutbacks.”Aaaahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa: slapstick, irony and farce in one event.