There is a difference between having a strong will and being willful. In both cases, you have determination. Willfulness tends to be ego-ness. You want your way. You are determined to have your way. Perhaps you are used to having your way or perhaps you seldom have your way. Either can be your motivation.
When life or someone does not allow you to have your way, then be gracious. This is the meaning of being a good sport. Being gracious isn’t giving up or caving in. It is letting go. You do not lose by letting go. Letting go is the opposite of holding on to that which has perhaps already left your grasp.
It is better to let go of the concept of your way or someone else’s way. You are not conceding defeat. It is not like that at all. Perhaps the one who concedes is the winner.
Let Us think of generosity of spirit rather than concession.
Life itself may not grant you what you desire as yet, and how do you know when to hold on and when to loosen your grip?
Great discoveries have been made by those who persisted. Is persisting the same as holding on? When you find joy in pursuing, let Us call that persistence. Joy and success are not necessarily the same. Let Us consider joy the path and success an outcome. You do have to have joy. You do not have to have the outcome you desire.
The thing is to not hold on because you are determined to hold on for the sake of holding on. You may set out to prove a scientific fact. That is one thing, yet you don’t have to hold on or hold out to prove you deserve to have your way.
You may well not know what is the way to go. You may desire someone to continue to love you. Your desire is not to override another’s desire. You may have strong desire to be close to another, and you do not have that right. In this case, think of letting go as allowing another to make his or her own choices. You do not have the right to make choices for anyone but yourself. It is not for you to take prisoners now, is it? Force is not desirable.
Let go of that which you have no business to clutch in the first place. You do not rope in others. You are free to let go, and others are free to go where they will. And, if another wants to encroach on you. you also are free to not be encroached on.
You have every right to have your desires, and everyone has every right to be free to follow his or her own desires.
You are learning generosity of spirit. What else is there to learn in life? Call it love or call it whatever you will, love is generosity of spirit. It is giving others their own space. Ah, yes, space does not exist, and yet you must give it. You must give everyone his own breathing room. Hold no captives. Love means giving freedom. Love does not mean holding on or clasping or grasping or bending another’s will to your own.
Letting go is growing. Letting go is freeing. Yes, sometimes you have growing pains, yet you are here on Earth to grow. Do not make a fist in order to hold tightly. All on Earth have to dance to their own tune even when it does not coincide with yours.
The sun shines as it shines. The sun may not shine on a day when you want it to. You cannot really demand of the sun. Who are you to make demands of the sun? The sun is free to shine on you. Do you really want the sun to be at your command?
You do not hold sway over another human being either.
Give yourself the freedom to be free and to free all others. This is great progress, and, one way or another, you will choose freedom for yourself and for others. Do I not give you free will?