John Ward – “Whole World Is Businessphobic,” Rages Melon, Threatens Ban On every Information Source Everywhere – 15 November 2013

fallontitleBusiness terrorist fanatic Ich’fala Melon

Mad-Mullah Businessist in paranoid rant

One-time Libor-rate arsonist and prominent Un-Business Committee Heretic Prosecution member Ich’fala Melon received a euphoric reception last night when he addressed the Blankfein Holy Sepulchre League in New York.

“The spoiling tactics of the pro-Flufffy Bollocks anti-friendly business conspiracy are clearly visible for any one-eyed man to see in the Kingdom of the Blind” Melon told his audience, citing the following instances:

Time for Moody’s to be more Business-Friendly:

Moody’s cuts ratings of three big US banks

Morgan Stanley, Goldman and JPMorgan all lowered

Time for Economic stats to be more Business-Friendly:

Japan and Europe dash hopes for global growth

Second half of year had been tipped for economic gains

Time for Health Secretary Hunt to be more Business-Friendly:

The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE), the body that selects drugs for use in the NHS, has approved “fewer than one-in-three medicines” since 2005…almost all on cost bases.

“Medicines should not just be seen as a cost. They are an investment and an essential part of improving patient outcomes,” said Pharmcos, “Yet the proportion of medicines refused by NICE is only increasing.”

Time for the Swiss to be more Business-Friendly:

Switzerland will vote on a proposal limiting executive pay to 12 times that of a company’s lowest paid worker, the second time this year the country will use the ballot box in an attempt to rein in corporate compensation.

Time for Stock Markets to be more Business-Friendly:

Serco suffers £425m triple blow to value after profits warning sends shares tumbling.

Shares suffered their worst one-day fall in a decade after the outsourcing giant slashed profit expectations for this year and next.

But in other news, is it time for Business to be a little more friendly to its employees?

A lost generation of jobless youth in the eurozone could tear the single currency apart if nothing is done to address chronic levels of unemployment, the World Economic Forum (WEF) has warned.

“There is a growing consensus on the fact that unless we address chronic joblessness we will see an escalation in social unrest,” said S. D. Shibulal , chief executive oof Infosys, who contributed to the WEF’s Global Agenda Report.

“People, particularly the youth, need to be productively employed, or we will witness rising crime rates, stagnating economies and the deterioration of our social fabric,” he added.

Power giant Npower looks to cut more that 1,000 UK jobs as British Gas owner Centrica scales back profit forecasts.The two energy companies revealed warnings on Thursday, with Centrica issuing a swingeing profits alert and Npower preparing to cut more than 1,000 UK jobs.

Barclays to axe 1,700 jobs from across its branch network. Union officials have condemned the banking giant for making a ‘colossal mistake’ which they believe will see customer service suffer as a result.

“This diabolical plan by global capitalism to starve all of us to death and have the entire world to itself is diabolical in its simplicity,” commented Mick McBludgeon of the Imshite Union.

Earlier at The Slog: Why the Shadow State should be a little more Citizen-Friendly

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