Opening the mouth and shutting the mind
Fans in the Amphitheatre have been gripped over the last four days by the fight-to-the-death scrap going on between the two most hated adversaries in Mendacium, Plodicum Metropolitanus and Nero Licentiae. The final decision may yet come down to a final thumbs up or down from Emperor Boriscum of Thrace, although he has signalled little beyond a desire to see them beat each other into mutually lifeless pulp.
The two gladiators are pulling out all the stops on behalf of their owners, Masonicus and Mereo Innitica respectively. Masonicus the Temple Builder retains his supreme confidence in the ability of Plodicum to destroy all those who question the right of the Mendacium Senate to bugger nymphs and fit up slaves, while Mereo remains committed to his belief in the white doves of Goddess Abbotticum Diaphonus, whose effortless power to turn black into white and State edukashun into Private tuition is of course legendary.
Foul play is suspected on all sides.
Footnote 1: portrait of Diane Abbott at the head of this article by Stuart Pearson Wright. MPs have spent around £250,000 of taxpayers’ money on portraits of fellow parliamentarians, the Daily Telegraph has revealed .
Footnote 2: secret networks of Freemasons have been used by organised crime gangs to corrupt the criminal justice system, according to a bombshell Metropolitan Police report leaked to The Independent.