I just returned from a book group during which people had questions about connecting with the Faery Realm. Since many people ask similar questions, I thought I’d share just a few tips here. Please bear in mind that this is not a comprehensive list!
1. Do you see them with your eyes? How can I see them with my own eyes?
Yes, sometimes I do see them with my physical eyes, but it is much more common for me — and many, many others, including prolific faery authors and people who’ve worked with faeries for decades — to recognize faeries with the inner eye. If you try too hard to focus with the outer eyes, then even the little glimpses you do catch often fade in an instant.
It is worth keeping in mind that:
a) Many faeries are extremely private and do not wish to be seen. Faery Lore offers many, many tales of people being blinded by faeries in the eye that sees them. Attempting to pressure faeries to show themselves to you when they do not wish to be seen in that way violates the first Faery Rule of “Respect, Not Control.”
b) Since faeries exist in the between spaces, shadows and other dimensions, peripheral vision often recognizes them better than head on vision.
c) Disney and the Victorians did a great disservice to humanity in promoting the idea that all faeries are flower fairies or Tinkerbells. Some faeries are 30 or more feet tall! Sometimes we do not see what we cannot handle. Faeries can shapeshift, and they will often present in the ways that we expect; however, some do reveal hints of their more authentic form to those whom they sense will not recoil. The Faery Realm reflects the human realm, but it is decidedly strange to those without much experience there. Since another Faery Rule is “No Rudeness,” many faeries automatically adapt their appearance to something less strange or awesome (in the literal sense of that word), just so that the humans don’t offend them.
Deep work in the Faery Realm involves facing one’s Shadow, and that can take years or lifetimes. If you long to see faeries, then work more on getting to know your Shadow Side and learning to recognize the sacred in all things. Just as you might feel shy about showing yourself, warts and all, to a stranger, so these sensitive beings — of sometimes extreme power — have learned not to place themselves into situations that might result in hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Build up trust in the same way you would with a pen pal — respectfully, slowly, and honoring the other being for his or her own desires of what is or is not wanted from this relationship. Not all pen pals meet in person, but that does not preclude value in the exchanges!
2. How can I honor faeries, elementals and the land?
Many people emphasize offering small tokens of food like milk, cream, butter or chocolate, of which flower faeries are particularly fond! In Ancient Faery Lore, we hear of frequent exchanges among the faeries and humans; however, we also hear of the deals being forever ended if humans fail to reappear with the borrowed or requested item on time. The other Faery Rule, “A Person’s Word is Bond,” is taken very seriously on the Otherside. Unlike our world in which excuses play a huge role, when dealing with Nature and/or the Faery Realm, excuses don’t cut it. They’re much more like Yoda, “Do or do not, there is no try.”
When leaving offerings, consult your heart for whatever you feel led to do. Offer milk or physical items if you feel led, but know that many times the requests are for less tangible things. In my case, most of my faery articles spring forth as offerings. I know that writing about such matters makes many dismiss me as off my rocker; however, I also know that humans need the Faery Realm right now, more than ever before. Helping to dispel some of the disinformation, disempowered “traditions” and disrespectful approaches is one way that I give back to beings who continue to be extremely generous and loving towards me.
Artists of all sorts might dedicate a piece of music, pottery, painting or garden plot to the Faeries. Crystals and “coin” are also popular offerings — the original basis for our modern day “wishing wells.” One must give with a sincere and loving heart, though. As with tithing in church, just giving in order to get doesn’t usually pan out so well. Again, we return to “Respect, Not Control.” Faeries can read the intentions of your heart, and the oldest Faery Lore reveals a common theme of even poor, misguided people with pure hearts winning the support and magic of the Faery Realm.
When traveling to any foreign land, we’re wise to learn as much as we can about the language and culture, but we would also be wise to avoid stereotypes and prejudices. Respect and a loving heart will get you far, and will likely earn you powerful Faery Guardians and Guides who can help smooth the waters when you’ve accidentally made a gaff. Intentional rudeness always runs large risks, but those who sincerely and humbly wish to learn will eventually do so. “When the student is ready, the teacher appears” holds true in all realms.
… and be the blessing!