I see this pattern a lot during sessions, but having recently experienced the empowering and liberating results in my own life, I wanted to explain a bit here. Many people assume that if they feel instant aversion when meeting someone new that it indicates some unresolved past life issues or a huge warning that the person in question is really a no good meanie out to get them. “Always trust your gut!” In general, this is good advice, but not always. The more reactive our first impression, the more it indicates complex interplay. Inexplicable aversion does not validate a black and white world. It does, however, beg for our attention.
While the body provides us with visceral feedback, our interpretation of such information is not infallible, especially when we throw in complicating factors like past lives. Sometimes an instant aversion does indicate that someone really screwed us over in a previous lifetime, and our body sounds the alarm bell. Just as often, though, a strong instant aversion to someone could indicate that we attacked or betrayed them and don’t want to face our own Shadow.
The most devastating occurrence of this situation happens when a parent feels complete and inexplicable aversion to a newborn child. I have received many guilt ridden calls from parents who can’t understand why they wouldn’t feel natural empathy and love for such an innocent little being. I’ve also helped countless adults untangle fallout from a lifetime with a parent or parents who seemed strangely focused on denigrating their very existence. This sort of past life bleedthrough causes enormous pain on both sides, and there’s not always a simple, neat explanation for the behavior. People may have spent multiple lifetimes together in a variety of roles, and now this lifetime amplifies all those energies.
In other instances, one soul (usually the child) really doesn’t take issue with the other soul, except that that person seems so hell bent on initiating unprovoked hell in their lives. I often hear from the person who feels attacked, because with no current lifetime justification for the behavior, they’ve come to wonder if maybe they murdered or betrayed the other person in a previous lifetime. They call me wanting to learn how to make amends so that they can stop the seemingly senseless torment. Sometimes the person requesting past life information really has done something to provoke the current lifetime’s abuse, but just as often, the person with the instant aversion was the abuser or betrayer before, as well.
Past lives usually exist in the non-conscious realm, a vast part of us that also includes the dreaded Shadow. In this lifetime, signs of a non-integrated Shadow include extreme judgments of right or wrong, black or white, and a tendency to view oneself always as the victim, always the “good” one, always “right.” When we’ve carried guilt or shame around for many lifetimes, we stick those uncomfortable memories and awareness into our Shadow, where we’ll never find them without diligent courage and effort.
Because the non-conscious realm can still be triggered, though, especially by encountering the very souls we feel guilty about harming, the Shadow frequently casts itself upon our lives. Most of us try to run and hide from it, so that we can maintain the carefully controlled image of ourselves as always nice, always right, always good. People who’ve dealt at least to some extent with their Shadow will wonder, “Is it really me? What have I done to deserve this?” or “Why do I feel such aversion? (Contrast such questions to: “I wonder how evil that person really is. I don’t even want to look at such evil. Best to recognize it and avoid” or “Why does that person warrant such aversion?”) People who refuse to look at their own Shadow assume their own reactive aversions must be correct assessments of the other person’s guilt and/or that they themselves are victims of persecution for being too perfect or wise. The Shadow Workers ask the difficult, soul searching questions with sincerity, not as rhetorical means of shoring up fragile illusions.
Rarely does life (or a collection of many lifetimes) wrap everything into a crystal clear tally of all good on one side and all bad on the other. If you’ve found yourself on either end of immediate, strong aversion, then you might want to try the Blue Room Meditation, as taught to me by astrologer and friend, Timothy Glenn. This soul-to-soul exchange acknowledges the possibility of previous connections and seeks to rebalance the energies between souls. In times of extreme trauma, betrayal, fear or disappointment, sometimes we leave pieces of ourselves in “care” of another soul. Those pieces might be Shadow parts that we fear, but they can just as easily be gifts, soul “gold” and a sense of childlike wonder. Rebalancing the energies between souls frees each soul to carry its own energies without feeling burdened by carrying someone else’s “stuff.”
People who project the strongest aversion and attacks onto someone else will often resist being brought into the Blue Room. I find that interesting, but since we really don’t know how things will balance out until we’ve done the meditation, I never assume. It always takes courage to approach the Blue Room, because we might discover that we are, in fact, the energy thieves who will now need to return those energies and gifts to their rightful keeper. Even in that instance, a certain sense of relief occurs. Just as the thief in this life can never fully relax with a stolen possession, borrowed or stolen energies never feel comfortably secure. They don’t quite fit, and on some level, we know it. In the event that we are the ones receiving a return of missing energy, then spontaneous healing and understanding can occur. Parts of ourselves that felt empty or broken can finally fill up — at least as pertains to this particular relationship.
Some people receive dramatic visions and past life downloads during a Blue Room Meditation. Others cry, shake or feel energy swirling. Some people feel nothing in the actual meditation, but then a dramatic shift happens in the “real” world relationship. Again, the unpredictability of the Blue Room requires courage, but potentially profound results reward the risk. Sometimes the past life “story” helps us let go of a particularly nagging relationship or explains why a “random” encounter continues to haunt us. In the event that you try the Blue Room and still feel bothered by strong aversions, a past life reading or past life regression might help with the release. You can find out more about the differences and similarities of those here. In the meantime, I encourage you to try the Blue Room. It’s a free method of inviting peace and relief into your life and relationships.
Blessed Be …
and be the blessing!