Love Quest Day 4
Welcome to day 4! At the midpoint of our Quest today, we are “just as far in as we’ll ever be out”. (Anna Nalick)
There have been some times I’ve seen with my heart and some times I’ve seen with my head. My buttons are still there, waiting to be pushed. The difference now is that rather than being swallowed up by them, I know where they are. I recognize them and feel when they are being pushed before I respond. At that point, I am more in charge of my responses than I’ve ever been.
Agape is power. It takes control of your life and adds order to it. Until now, you may feel somewhat pushed around by the events, people and even the places of your days. The ups and downs of your moods are dependent on what or who you run into. This can change.
Unconditional love is a force. It is already running through the very heart of you. It has just been camouflaged with judgment and blame; with failure and defeat. These emotions are not truth. They are markers. They point out places where love is hiding.
There are no parts of you imperfect. Loves imprint has marked you permanently. You are love. Nothing you can think, say or do changes that. At your very core is acceptance without condition. To live this way is not something you’ll have to learn, it is something you’ll have to remember.
Moments of remembering are announced with happiness. Joy is the companion we seek. Until now she has arrived unbidden. We can call Joy forth in every moment with unconditional love. This is the power of Agape.
In order to utilize this power, you’ll have to change your operating system. You’ve engaged the world as if it has control and determines your mood. It has looked like this: You are walking along, singing a song and someone approaches. You stop, look at who they are and feel however they make you feel. The options are many.
Your new operating system has been designed in reverse. You are walking along singing a song and you feel grateful, loving, happy, abundant and peaceful. Someone approaches. You stop and look. Your feelings can no longer be manipulated by your environment. You’ve set them to run on self-love 24-7.
What happens now? You can predict the outcome of every encounter. You are in control; dependent on no one to fill you up or push your buttons to get you going. This is a powerful place in which you stand. It is a place of sovereignty. It is where you are home.
Your operating system can be changed regardless of your age or history. New hardware is not required. This is not an upgrade. It is more like a removal of a malicious virus. Once accomplished, you are ready for whatever and whoever you walk into.
Power comes from knowing the answer. You do. It is resting in your heart and available for every question, encounter and seeming setback. Life happens. Sometimes we are broke, broken or broken hearted. These feelings do not define you, they are landscapes. Backdrops for the unique and gentle stroke of your hand, your heart, your light. The answer is Agape.
Love your self in every encounter, circumstance and moment. There is a part of you that does you know. He or she has been waiting a very long time for you to get with the program. YOU are the One you’ve been waiting for.
See you tomorrow.
~Later today my new website will be published! Lots of new stuff and a drawing! Check it out and sign up! http://www.sophialove.org
Love Quest Day 5
It is our fifth day. Love yourself. It sounds like a simple thing, doesn’t it? If it were, most of us would be there. Like riding a bike.
We learned about bike riding and self love around the same time. We were very young. When learning both, there was this gentle period of acclimation where someone – mom, dad, big brother, big sister, uncle or aunt – held you until the right moment. It was that moment when you were on your own. Your balance, speed and success were each self determined. You were heading out into the world – solo.
What you gleaned from the lessons they gave very much decided how you approached both self love and bike riding. Did they hold on a little too long out of fear? Did they push you away too soon? How they reflected both for you is evidenced in your style. We are associative beings. We watch, listen and decide for ourselves what will work. Typically, we mimic.
It is time for a new approach. We are all grown up now. We no longer “need” to be held; although some days it feels like that. On those days we comfort ourselves with any one of our addictions. We may blame someone for cutting off our supply, self-medicate or decide to be stoic. Each approach ends with a hollow spot. This is not Agape (self-love).
It can be scary to decide to love anyway. Despite what you may have learned from your elders or any internal objection – you are absolutely lovable. There is no fear in self-love. You don’t need make up, great abs or a large bank account. Whatever you have right now is enough. You hold a spark of eternity. You are love embodied. Today.
There is no fault that separates you from being worthy of this love. Its discovery is sort of like that moment when you realize no one is holding on to the bike (or to you) and you are moving on your own; shocking and thrilling all at once. When it happened for me, I opened my mouth to yell with joy and a bug flew in. Not what I expected and sort of gross. I kept on riding.
The thing is, you can keep going with your mouth shut worried about the bug possibility or you can keep going screaming with joy anyway. Both will get you there. One way sounds like fun; the other sounds like work.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve got enough to do. I’m not looking to give myself any more jobs. Self-love is not something you have to earn. It is free and equally available. No one else is counting how much you take or worrying about you getting theirs. No one is keeping score. You are the only one who actually knows how much you’ve got.
Sometimes you see people and they arrive full out. Nothing is missing with them and as a result they expect nothing from you. They are not asking you to support their anxiety or fill up their empty spots. They are present. Whether you like them or not, you can’t help but appreciate their lack of dependence. It is refreshing.
Agape is not something that was on the to-do list of those who came before us. If you were shown how to love yourself as a child, you are quite fortunate. If not, doing so now will bring up all sorts of anxiety. It will feel “wrong”. It is not. It is just different.
You are okay, all by yourself. You are good enough to shower with love. Treat yourself tenderly, this is new ground and you may want training wheels. Go ahead, be good to yourself. Give yourself whatever you need. Smile. This is one thing you have to do alone. It is time.
You are the One you’ve been waiting for.
See you tomorrow.
~~Later today my new website will be published! Lots of new stuff and a drawing! Check it out and sign up! www.sophialove.org