What I am announcing today is measures to make sure that we tighten our procedures across the whole of the NHS, whether its hospitals, GPs surgeries, or ambulances to make sure that we are absolutely prepared and I have done nothing wrong. The clear advice we have got from the chief medical officer Dame Sally Davies is that the protocols that we have got in place now are correct given the level of risk so she will be the one who will have done something wrong not me if it all goes tits up. She is talking about a handful of cases, if that, arriving in the UK in the next few months, but we need to be prepared and that’s why we need to make sure that they are tight so we can blame it on alcoholism rates among left-wing nurses.
I hope when [people] hear my statement to the House of Commons this afternoon they will be reassured that we are taking all the measures that we need and I have done nothing wrong. This is not an airborne virus, you need an exchange of bodily fluids to catch it and Jimmy Savile’s dead now so that can’t happen. But we need to make sure that everyone gets the training, everyone is reassured about what they need to do to stay safe, and everyone knows afterwards that I did nothing wrong.
This will thus maintain my absolutely honest consistency in having done nothing wrong when entering my company for the Times employer awards, or avoiding £100,000 of tax two years ago. There is also absolutely nothing wrong with inheriting your Parliamentary seat from a second cousin by marriage. And during the BSkyB bid, although I withheld over 120 emails from the Commons enquiry, I did nothing wrong.
It goes to show just how well Conservative government works when, as is now obvious, the number of people doing something wrong keeps falling. Bankers, Mayor Johnson, Grant Shapps, Lord Green, George Osborne, David Cameron, Lord Brittan and Lord Fallon did nothing wrong in relation to Libor rates, Taxi emissions falsification, internet fraud, drug money laundering, sniffing lines, discussing BSkyB bids on Boxing Day, distributing childporn and Libor rate collusion. Or gold price manipulation, collusion with police in charging innocent BBC DJs, collusion with Newscorp involving education bribes, attempts to quash a phone hacking enquiry, and misleading the country on pretty much all aspects of foreign policy.