So, how do you love under any circumstance? Without opinion or expectation, disappointment or judgment? What does love like that look like?
If your love is conditional, then by definition you require those conditions to be met for it to continue. This is how conditions actually work. This physical life is conditional. It requires oxygen. If you take away my oxygen, I no longer have it. I die.
What about the conditions we place on our love relationships? Love may be withdrawn if the following are not met within them:
Honesty – truthfulness
Obedience – dutiful compliance
Fidelity – strict observance of promises
When one or more of these conditions is not met – does the love stop? What unmet condition is capable of stopping a force such as love?
I submit to you an idea that there are none. Love cannot die. Relationships may end, and in truth, through choice, death or circumstance all of them do, but the love? It exists eternally. This love is the force of creation.
This love is the initiatory spark of your existence – it is the essence of source – it is eternal.
How is it possible to stop such power? It is not, we have confused love with many things. Honesty, fidelity and obedience may be necessary qualities in your medical, military and financial advisors, but they are not qualities of love. The reasons they aren’t? Love is not orderly, strict or precise. It is not a pie with evenly sized slices. It is a garden – a huge mess of wildflowers sprawled out on a hill.
We love because that is what we are.
Love is both a noun and a verb.
Love holds no quarrels.
Love has no empty spots.
Love casts no judgments.
Love demands no payment.
Love follows no rules.
Love asks for nothing.
Love is only given, it cannot be taken. For to take something leaves a spot empty, and love is always there.
We do not take love, we only notice it.
We allow love to be.
It is everywhere.
There is freedom in agape. We have spoken before of the fact of our unity. If there is anger in our mind, we may feel it in our gut. It is the same with love. You cannot confine one part of love and have the rest free. Love is either free or conditional.
You may choose a conditional relationship – that is neither loving nor unloving, it is merely your choice. You cannot choose conditional love, not really. Well you can, but it will show up all over your life and in all of your relationships of love.
You see, if you place conditions on the allowing of your love – it is you that suffers. For love is what you are, and by doing so you are just stopping your own flow – the flow of you.
What is at the core of our deepest beliefs about love is an imprint we received as children. Whether through family, church, school or society we’ve gotten the message that
<span “font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:calibri;=”” mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin”=””>A. Love has rules and they are:
<span “font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:calibri;=”” mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin”=””>B. You must –
<span “font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:calibri;=”” mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin”=””>a. Obey
<span “font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:calibri;=”” mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin”=””>b. Make and keep promises
<span “font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-bidi-font-family:calibri;=”” mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin”=””>c. Tell the truth
If these things were not present, then there was no love for your parents or your god or your country. Eventually we grew up and added – your spouse.
We look for validation from others, and like empty cups seek only to be filled. The love we see ourselves getting from them or not getting from them is a label we came up with when we were 5 years old.
Love is not a label. It is not as malleable as honesty or promises or obedience.
My son was about 3 at the time, very bright and a literal thinker. We were eating dinner, having a Friday night picnic on our living room rug on paper plates. There were fresh made cookies for dessert.
After a few minutes, and not much dinner, he asked for a cookie. “You can have a cookie after your chicken is all gone” I told him. He looked at me, got up and walked into the kitchen. He didn’t say a word. The rest of us looked at each other. We heard the garbage can pop open and snap shut. A moment later he returned, without his dinner plate, looked at me and said “My chicken is gone. Can I have a cookie?” We cracked up. He got a cookie.
Honesty is relative. It is not the same as Truth. The truth about love is that you can ignore and even deny it – but you will never stop it. There are no conditions capable of altering truth or stopping it. Love is what you are. You therefore always recognize it. It is what you do.
Think about the freedom that is possible with unrestricted expression of you. Your heart will burst with both the joy and the pain of it – such will be your life. This is the life you are here to explore; the freedom we are here to discover. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for!
See you tomorrow,
Join my mailing list here! (I will be moving soon)