Lisa Gawlas – The Distorted Field Of Our Memories That Make Up Our Perceived Reality! – 18 September 2012

There are two major things I am coming to realize on this grand 2 week adventure; First and foremost, I now completely understand why monks choose to segregate themselves from the world to work on their spiritual journey!  I have been so on the go, so wonderfully interactive with those I am visiting that the way I live my spiritual connections does not even exist right now.  It really is a strange feeling to live like this once again… and that is to say, not a moment in the stillness, just constantly going and going and going!

Secondly, our memories are housed in very murky waters, distorted, if not completely repainted by time and space long separated from actual events.  Even things that have zero emotional charge to them, for me, completely distorted and for the most part, remembered without a whole lot of truth.  A couple of examples from my time with my father.  I knew he had native amercian blood in him, I could have swore over all these decades that I remember his father was full native amercian and raised on a reservation.  Not even close to true.  His grandmother was full Mohawk not his father, his father was english (or something.)  I was also absolutely sure he had like 4 or 5 brothers, one being just a bit older than me… another distortion of my mind.  He had two brothers, neither even close to my age.  I was also sure my two youngest sisters, when I lived with them (in 1976) was 4 and 6 years old.  Not even close!  One wasn’t even walking yet.  I have zero memories of a baby in the house!

I mention these things because not one of them matter to my personal life story.  What about those memories that are affecting me/us today that do matter.  That are still firing emotions from a perception that may be totally inaccurate?

Even my own kids will recall various things from their childhood, usually embedded with some unpleasant emotions, that just didn’t happen in the way they remember it happening, or maybe it is better to say, in the way I remember the events happening.  So my big question is… what the hell are we remembering as if every detail is true and why did it change so much over time?   And yet, we are living our present based on events in our past that probably have become very distorted, if not non-existent, thru time.

I find it equally interesting and absolutely synchronicitic that the days before leaving for this grand adventure that spirit was talking about the various functions of the brain.  We literally are making it up as we go and then living/reacting as if it is true.  No wonder ascension is all about dying to every aspect of yourself, the good, the bad, the neutral!  It’s all a distortion anyway.  How can you live a True life while still connected to distortions of past memories/connections?  Hell, even the distortions of the present!

Suddenly I fully realize why I am so exhausted.  I have not spent any time within myself at all since I have landed in Virginia.  I have been going and going and going.  I drop into sleep at the end of the day and wake up with oatmeal on my brains.  I attempted meditation once while here, but I was too worried the baby would wake up from his nap, so I went nowhere fast.

I suddenly realize why meditation has been so important to my own growth and acceleration.  It allows one to process from the Light of truth each and every day, so nothing becomes distorted and weighted down on the energy field.  I surely have a lot of unpacking to do when I get back home tomorrow!!

Even when I came back from the 8 hour car ride from my fathers house on Sunday evening, my feet, ankles and calves were so swollen it hurt to walk.  I have never had my calves swell straight to the knee before.  But that is my entire foundation of life that needs to be revisited and drained yet again.

We are heading to the Equinox time next week and I fully realize how important it is to completely drain the distortions of our emotional field is now, so we can live fully present in the Light of truth.  No more distortions!!

Well, the house is waking up and I must end this sharing for today.

I love y’all very much and really really really miss our connections together!!

(((((HUGZ))))) of wonder and awe to All!!

Lisa Gawlas

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